Showing posts with label politics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label politics. Show all posts

Monday, August 22, 2011

Speaking of History's Unstoppable Power...

...though events in Libya and Tripoli have twists and turns to go before the country moves into its next phase, this is what the irresistable wave of history looks like as it crests. For the sake of Libya's people, here's hoping events take a different course than the second act of "Bombardment."

Monday, November 1, 2010

Utter Horror and Other Forms of Entertainment


There’s an election tomorrow. You might have heard that. The conventional wisdom is that Democrats are going to get whacked. And they likely will, but there’s something in me that’s not quite buying the polls. Maybe I’m in denial. Still, the one thing that seems to be distinguishing the polls—other than they’re terrifying Democrats—is that they’re all over the place. One week they show Republican momentum, another week they show a Democratic momentum…and now the Republicans are back.

As usual, it’ll come down to local politics and who’s got the best ground game. Rather than get into a whole big analysis, which seems a little pointless when the numbers are all over, I’ll just trot out my predictions, and we’ll see how it rolls tomorrow.

Republicans take back the House. Why? It’s the one thing polls seem to hold together, it’s an anti-incumbent year, largely because unemployment is so high. Since Democrats have more seats, they’re likely to take the biggest share of the blame. (Never mind that the Republicans have no idea how to get out of the economic mess other than “cut taxes”…which won’t work.)

The Senate’s going to be close. Boxer will probably hold onto her seat. Harry Reid will likely lose his, even though his opponent is arguably insane. I think the Dems will probably lose Kentucky and Pennsylvania too. God only knows what’ll happen in Alaska, though I’d hedge my bets on Murkowski—she’s a known quantity and Miller seems less and less stable. But who knows? Miller may be a protest vote. I think it’s arguable that a lot of Republicans will pick up seats as protests. Looks like Feingold’s over in Wisconsin; and it’s worth saying that the last couple of years, Feingold has been something of an arrogant son-of-a-bitch, and that may be partly why his opponent leads.

Brown probably wins the governorship in California. That’s cool. I like the Jerry. He’s a much less conventional politician than he seems, and California could use his experience. The real question marks are here in the Pacific Northwest. Patty Murray’s running a bare fisted fight with Dino Rossi, and this might finally be the year than Rossi wins one, for the aforementioned reasons. But Murray’s really pretty well liked, and Rossi’s a perennial loser, albeit by close margins. This one probably won’t be settled until the next day or later. It’ll likely come down to how the vote breaks in Puget Sound.

Close to home, we have a nail biter between Kitzhaber and Dudley for governor of Oregon. Dudley actually has a shot, as a moderate Republican in the mold of Atiyeh, and economic times are very similar to those when Atiyeh was elected. Kitzhaber’s a good, smart guy, but he burned a few bridges when he was governor, and folks may feel he’s had his shot. It’ll basically come down to Democratic turnout in Portland and Eugene…as it usually does in Oregon.

And California’s Proposition 19, legalizing marijuana? It’s been a fascinating ride on this one, but marijuana measures tend to run strong, then fade, which is what the polls indicate here. On the other hand, a lot of people who might turn out to vote on Prop 19 might be off the pollsters’ radar, so it’s not over. My general feeling is: I’ll believe it when I see it, but, after you’ve watched a president resign, guys walk on the moon, the Berlin Wall come down, and an African-American win the presidency, you hedge your bets. So Prop 19, maybe…but probably not.

Finally, if the Republicans actually win this thing like some pollsters are saying, then they’re going to have to govern. Which they suck at. And that’s where it gets entertaining, because voters don’t seem to be so much for Republicans as they are against Democrats. Entertaining, that is, unless they don’t usher in a second Great Depression with total gridlock and general insanity. Good times…not so much.

From the Stewart Rally


Note: this is the first time in the history of this blog that "sanity" has been a keyword.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

The Deed is Done


For the many who have fought for health care reform so many years, especially for the late Senator Ted Kennedy, and, personally, for my mom, Jean Patterson, who fought all her life for patients' rights, particularly those of our veterans, and would have been so proud if she could have been here to see this: savor this day.

And for those who oppose the bill, there's much work to be done for our future. Please step forward for the country where we agree and express yourself openly and with dignity where we do not, but let us work together.

Seeing history made is a moving and humbling experience.

Onward.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Now THIS...

...this is a political attack ad. Mind, it's Louisiana politics--particularly New Orleans--and the rest of the country's still toddling around in diapers compared to these folks.

behold...and tremble.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Monday, December 14, 2009

This just in...

Secret footage of the Senate health care deliberations. I think Joe Lieberman (Anal Lesion-CT) is the guy wearing the black and white housecoat. Majority Leader Harry Reid, as everyone knows, is crazy like a fox.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

A Sad Thought


“If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat?” Going Rogue, page 133.

Sarah Palin...she just isn't going to go away for awhile, is she? Not until she flames out like some kind of right-wing supernova...or Britney. Stumbling out of her book tour limo with no panties....

No, no. It's too terrible to think about.

Also.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Van Jones is my New Hero...


...and Obama fired him yesterday. Bummer.

Van Jones sez Republicans are Assholes

Uh...stop the presses? And, by the way, he's right--especially in the context in which he said it. But he should know you can't be that honest and do the people's business; so he's gone. The end.

Long live Tom Paine.

S

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Don't Know, Don't Care


I got people asking me: Sarah Palin, she just up and quit? Why, why?

Well, I've thought about it for a couple days, and there are a range of possibilities.

One, another five-inch heel is about to drop, and she split before she had to quit.

Two, somehow she thinks this will help her in running for president in 2012, given that she can start making speeches and raising money and hanging out in Iowa now. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! You go, girl! (Shithead.)

Three, she's pregnant again, this time with the Weekly World News's alien baby.

Four, some enchanted evening, hers and Mark Sanford's eyes met across a crowded room at some Rotarian rubber chicken dinner.

Five, she's in deep mourning for Michael Jackson and just can't go on, man!

But the one I'm leaning towards is six, she's just plain batshit crazy, and boy are we lucky she never became vice-president. To wit: WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING JOHN MCCAIN? WAS THIS THE ULTIMATE END RESULT OF SOME FIENDISHLY CLEVER MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE INDOCTRINATION IN A NORTH VIETNAMESE PRISON CAMP?

Whatever. Bye, Sarah. Don't let the door hit ya where the....

*sound of door slamming*

"Ow."

Monday, July 21, 2008

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Footage from Last Night's Debate

If you missed the debate, here it is pretty much in its entirety:

The Great Debate

They'll be talking about this one for years to come, folks.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

A Serious Thought on the Election

If Barack Obama is smart--and I think he's damned smart--and if he wins the Democratic nomination, which, barring an explosive scandal, I think he will, he should choose a woman as his running mate.

I don't think it'll be Hillary Clinton. There's just too much bad blood between the two at this point, and I think Clinton's frankly too proud to accept second place. (As well she should be.) But Clinton's candidacy has genuinely thrilled women with the chance of breaking the highest of glass ceilings, and I think Barack would be squandering that good will and all those motivated voters by, say, going with The Southern White Guy. Raises some interesting questions about who he might turn to--Barbara Boxer and Diane Feinstein come readily to mind, but they both have high negatives outside of California, and he's probably not going to need them to win that state. Same with Washington state's governor or senators. There are a couple female Senators in the Midwest, but they're relatively new, and defending someone new is the last thing Obama needs. Barbara Mikulski's great, but she's getting too old for the job.

However, two sitting governors might make good running mates. One is Janet Napolitano of Arizona, who has a stellar record and would challenge McCain on his home turf, and the other is Kathleen Sebelius of Kansas, who's extremely strong on economics, having turned her state's economy around after some dismal early numbers. She's also from a traditonally conservative state where Obama ran poorly, and which might prop him up with independents.

If I had to put money on it (and I never put money on politics), I'd go with Napolitano. She'd also help bring in Latinos and put the West/Mountain States in play. It'd be a hell of race, especially if they forced McCain to spend money in his own back yard. He would, in a word, look lame.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Dear Lord....

...please make this campaign end. Now. Thank you.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Dear Al:

It's like this. Clinton wins Pennsylvania, Obama wins North Carolina, nothing much changes, except Obama keeps trying to gain altitude and Clinton keeps hanging onto his ankle. Which keeps them both low and within range of McCain's guns.

Okay. That's stretching the metaphor a bit. But, you won the Nobel Prize. You won an Oscar. You won the presidency in 2000 (remember) then threw yourself on your sword for the good of your country (bad move, in retrospect). It's time for you step down from the mountain, hands outstretched, have the candidates bow before you. Praise Clinton. Lay a glow upon her and call her a great soldier. Then annoint Obama.

Or else...else the Democrats end up with a brokered convention, blood and guts on the floor, superdelegates slipping around, screaming as they fall, delegates bashing away at each other with Obama and Clinton signs, people losing eyes. And they're all going to panic and try to draft you. Yeah, you. Drag you kicking and screaming back like Michael Corleone. You want that? You want to deal with this ungodly mess George is leaving behind? Total financial collapse? The second Great Depression? The fall of Baghdad? The end of both ice caps? Dogs and cats living together? Hell no! Write another book! Make another movie! Save the world! Save the party and shove Bubba off the stage in the bargain! (C'mon, admit it: how good would that feel?)

You can do it, Al. Else you're going to end up in Florida again. And that just might really be the sign of the apocalypse.

Yrs,

Steve

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Gonzo Political Advertising

Don't ask me where this came from, but I suddenly had a political ad appear on the small blue television screen within my mind (which usually only shows a test pattern):

A doctor (vaguely resembling Dick Cheney) along with his assistant (vaguely resembling Alberto Gonzales) straps down a voter (insert identity of your choice), then inserts a probe into their skull, which slowly sucks out their brains, until they go from screaming "No! No!" to robotically chanting "John McCain...John McCain" until their head finally collapses like an expired balloon and they say "I feel happy."

We then see their gray matter spirited away through a series of tubes, pipes, infrastructure, so on, until it comes out of a gas pump and fills up an SUV, which then drives away, revealing a Bush/Cheney '04 sticker on the bumper.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Lunacy

Two political posts in one day...I don't know, might be a sign of a dangerous addiction. It's just been, well...there's a big shadow crossing the moon this evening, and the city has fallen silent except for all these dogs inexplicably howling. Plus Mercury's in retrograde of some such shit, and Mayans say time ends in four years.

Four years?

So the president, who's romping around Africa, being entertained by lovely native dancers wearing his face on their asses (not making that up), has hit the all-time lowest approval rating in history. To put 19% in perspective, mental health professionals estimate as much as 17% of the population suffers from psychiatric disorders, so Bush is 2 points ahead of crazy. (Still better than Cheney.)

Meanwhile, Shiite militia leader al-Sadr said he'll decide Saturday whether the cease fire he instituted will continue. If he say yes, the truce continues. If he doesn't say anything...game on. And there goes that much vaunted improvement the troop surge was supposedly responsible for, because the next thing you know, the Shiites and Sunnis are going to be drawing down on each other again. Maybe why all that talk about bringing guys home has...just...kind of...tapered away....

Meanwhile, the Clinton camp is walking around like someone's just struck them all in the head with baseball bats and they're trying to catch their equilibrium, which they do now and then to wave their arms and yell "He's not presidential! He just talks good!" Uh huh. Even Mr. Bill and James "Serpenthead" Carville are saying Clinton's got to win either Ohio, Texas, or maybe both, and number wizards are saying she has to win them decisively. Like by, uh, 20 points. Meanwhile, the newest polls in those states show Obama continuing to close the gap. People were a little worried about Michelle Obama's remark that for the first time in her adult life, she was proud of America--ruh roh--until Bill O'Reilly, actually trying to defend her from some right-wing caller, said, "Look, I'm not going to round up a lynching party until I learn the facts."

Oops. Either he knew what he was doing and was stupid, or his unconscious took over and revealed who he really was. Either way, the heat's off Michelle.

And then...oh God. You really can't...you just really make this stuff up much less hope it'll happen, but New Yorkers, when they sip their coffee and blearily snap open the Times tomorrow are going to be confronted with a big headline that John McCain was making nicey-nice back in 2000--when he was 63, kids--with a 40-year-old female lobbyist who just happened to have business with several of McCain's committees, and whose clients contributed to John "unimpeachable ethics" McCain's campaign. Which really comes as no surprise for those of us who remember that dingbat when he was one of the Keating Five, but it's coming as a rude awakening for the GOP establishment to be dealing with their own "bimbo eruption." Pat Buchanan reportedly had a public meltdown on MSNBC earlier this evening.

Ah irony. Irony is a sweet, sharp liquor that goes down ice cold then kicks your brain right out its skull. Irony's a keeper.

This one day after David Letterman said of McCain, "Doesn't he remind you of a greeter at Wal-Mart? He reminds you a mall wanderer. He reminds you of that guy who gets confused by the automatic door at the supermarket."

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

My friends....


My friends, Help, I have done it again
My friends, I have been here many times before
My friends, Hurt myself again today
And, My friends, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame

My friends, Be my friend
My friends, Hold me, wrap me up
My friends, Unfold me
I am small,My friends,
and needy
Warm me up, My friends,
And breathe me

Ouch My friends, I have lost myself again
My friends, Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah My friends, I think that I might break
Lost myself again My friends, and I feel unsafe

Be my friend, My friends,
Hold me, My friends, wrap me up
My friends, Unfold me
I am small, My friends,
and, My friends, needy
Warm me up, My friends,
And, My friends, breathe me

My friends, Be my friend
My friends, Hold me, wrap me up
My friends, Unfold me
I am small,My friends,
and needy
Warm me up, My friends,
And breathe me
My friends....